Advice columnist

超级人碰人摸大公鸡免费视频-Adapted from a recent online discussion.

超级人碰人摸大公鸡免费视频-Dear Carolyn: How do I learn not to be resentful when someone continually puts me in a bad spot?

2019香蕉国偷产拍视频-My mother's life philosophy is, "I'm going to do what I want, when I want. That's the only way to live life." She has no regard for consequences or the position she puts others in. She was unstable when I was a kid because of this. We were often homeless or crashing with her friends.

偷偷要费观看视频在 线-Now that I'm in my 30s, it bothers me in new ways. She spends ALL her money and then doesn't have enough for medication, food, living. I'm afraid she's going to have to live with me. She has a medical condition, but eats exactly what she shouldn't eat and then ends up in the emergency room. I have to go take care of it. I can't just keep taking off work!

    超级人碰人摸大公鸡免费视频-I have no sympathy anymore. I know that sounds harsh, but 90 percent of her plights are of her own doing. Yet she has no one else.

    偷偷要费观看视频在 线-I've cut down what I do for her to the minimum, to make sure her needs are met. But I'm still so resentful she does this to me! She thinks she's just living her life while I think we should all try our hardest not be burdens on others.

    (Nick Galifianakis/for The Washington Post)

    超级人碰人摸大公鸡免费视频-— Resentful

    秋霞66手机版-Resentful: Oh my.

    秋霞66手机版-Deciding “I’m going to do what I want” when it exposes one’s children to homelessness is not a philosophy; it’s neglect and/or abuse.

    2019香蕉国偷产拍视频-And feeling responsible for your mother when she was/is so careless with you? That, again, isn’t about philosophy or workday logistics. That’s the enduring emotional legacy of her neglect.

    秋霞66手机版-Please stop carrying this all by yourself. Get help from a good therapist trained to navigate complex family systems.

  1. 99re久久热最新地址一-Ask yourself, too: What would she have to do if you lived overseas/had your own crisis/hadn’t been born? The fallacy of indispensability snares a lot of us, not just the ones with tough parental legacies like yours.

    秋霞66手机版-See it for what it is and release it.

        秋霞66手机版-I’m not saying to cut Mom off — though you may decide to eventually, after weighing your options — but instead to see that anything you feel forced to do is fertile soil for resentment.

        偷偷要费观看视频在 线-You do have choices, your mom isn’t forcing you, and no one is a burden whom you don’t allow to be so.

        2019香蕉国偷产拍视频-She’s presenting you with unappealing choices, yes — but they’re still choices. Please start making them from a position of action vs. reaction, with or without the professional help.

        99re久久热最新地址一-To: Resentful: Please do try to get some actual physical distance from her so she can't guilt trip you into behaving as she wants.

          2019香蕉国偷产拍视频-My father was like this, so I moved out at 17 and never lived within 1,000 miles of him after that. It really helps. I can still do some things from afar, but I'm not on the same emotional cycle as my sibling.

        • 2019香蕉国偷产拍视频-And the more we've cut him off, the more he's figured things out on his own.

          秋霞66手机版-The consequences of his self-sabotage are not my fault, and, quite frankly, I could never save him from himself. Save yourself. Boundaries are really a matter of survival.

          偷偷要费观看视频在 线- — Anonymous

          2019香蕉国偷产拍视频-Anonymous: Bravely done. Thank you.

          超级人碰人摸大公鸡免费视频- Write to Carolyn Hax at Get her column delivered to your inbox each morning at